Project 6: Vocal Variety


Actually, I have delivered this speech about half year ago. Share with you, just for fun.

                       Lost and Found

  Do you guys know Lost and Found?(Pause) OK, I know you guys are
engineers, especial a Solaris engineer in Sun. But here, I don’t point
to the directory in /export/home. I means the comedic film “Lost and
Found”. The Chinese name is “I am LiuYuejin”. (Short pause) Mr. Liu is
a cook who lost his packet which contains all of his property. The
whole story unfold from then on. (Short pause) This funny and
ridiculous story trigger the old memory in my mind. Some of them could
be more funny and incredible.

  Someone said a person had
never lost cellphone just like a baby never had bed-wetting. I have
lost several cellphones, or say I was stolen several times. :-( I lost
my one of them in bus, one of them in subway, one in shopping. Even,
another one I have no idea where I lost it. But the most incredible
location I lost it was in my bed. More exact circumstance was my
cellphone was put beside my pillow when I go to sleep. But it was gone
when I wake up in the morning. My dormitory-mates, XiaoYu, is still
snores loudly and symmetrically. (Imitation his snore?)I try to call my
phone using his one. But his phone was gone as well. I got out of the
bedroom and was aware of the door in the sitting-room was open. It was
obviously, our cellphones were stolen when we was sleeping. (Pause) The
story was not end. I went to office and report it to the police. And
XiaoYu promised to wait for the policeman in the home. Half hour later,
four big and strong policemen come to our dormitory and got XiaoYu to
the office to record his testimony. They looked like impatient and even
annoyed. XiaoYu and the four policemen got down the stair along. Two in
front of him. And two behind him. It was morning exercise time, many
our neighborhoods were exercising out the door. So, my pool
dormitory-mate looks like a thief was walking among them. The police
car whizzed past in the morning (Simulate the sound of police car
here?). When the pool XiaoYu came back two hour later, the old
gentleman living in our downstairs came in the presence of him, put his
hand on his shoulder and said to him, in a whisper.

  “I heard that guy (He is getting at me) was arrested by the police. Is that right?”

cellphones was stolen in the bed. That was unexpected, but the more
unexpected thing was I was supposed to be the thief.(Long pause)

usually it is obviously, I am the victim. At that year, I started my
career in Beijing and came back to my hometown in the Spring Festival.
Engineers like T-shirt and Jean. Yes, Me too. But I didn’t want my
parents thought I was still a mess boy even work. So, I took the formal
clothes and came back to my home town by train. The train environment
was safe and comfortable. I woke up until the train pulled in the
morning. How a wonderful journal! I stretched and got up. Start to take
my clothes, my neck tire, my treasures, my socks, my … (Pause)
Wait!!! Where are my shoes? Where are my leather shoes? Where are my
brush leather shoes? I can’t find it it. It was gone. It must be
somebody took my shoes off. But most of the traveler have left the
carriages. It is impossible to figure out who stole my shoes? I had no
choice and get out the station without shoes. (Pause) You can image how
funny I looks like. A young gentleman is wearing formal black
western-style clothes, black treasures , delicate neck tie and taking a
wonderful bag, but barefoot. People stared at me and snickered.

felt very shy and embarrassed. At that time, I hated the thief. I even
was not annoyed for his behavior, that was his work. But I was angry
that he let me lost face in front of crowd. Even a slippers can help me
out of the jam. I was imaging what I need do if I was a thief. Finally,
I got the conclusion that I would keep my professional ethics even I
was a thief. Got I should got and left others. It seems that the great
minds think alike. Because I do encountered one not a long time later.

years later after we graduation, we hold a party to renew for the
classmates. We had dinner in restaurant, we sang in KTV, we dance and
so on. That was amazing experience. We talked a lot and drunk a lot. We
say good-bye to each other in the midnight. When I tried to take out my
wallet and pay for the taxi blow my apartment, I realized it was lost
somewhere. Not much cash in it. But I lost my ID card and all my bank
cards. Suddenly, I sobered up from the alcohol. It was later. I didn’t
think the thief can guess my bank account password. But it was fussy to
apply for new ones, especially without ID card. It was distress and
vexatious. I was prostrate that that days. Do you believe miracle? I
don’t believe it before. But now, I believe it. (Pause) Two days later,
I got a letter contained all my lost in my wallet, except for the cash.
That is unbelievable. I was so exciting and looked like I got a million
lottery. I was thinking maybe I could say thanks to the thief if he was
standing in front of me. I really admired his profession.

lost my cellphones. But I found it was better not trouble others for
this kind of tiny cases. Try to figure it out by yourself, or let it
go. I lost my shoes. But I found keeping dignity is more critical than
appearance. I lost my wallet and all the stuff in it. But I found
keeping profession is more esteemed, even you are a thief. :-)


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