那些曾经的搞笑事

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做完了Toastmaster project 6,又想起来刚来京的时候很多事情。时间啊时间,就这样嗖嗖的跑过。其实,快乐和幽默就存在这一天天的生活中,一起看一看,乐一乐!

Lost and Found

Do you guys know Lost and Found?(Pause) OK, I know you guys are engineers, especial a Solaris engineer in Sun. But here, I don’t point to the directory in /export/home. I means the comedic film “Lost and Found”. The Chinese name is “I am LiuYuejin”.


(Short pause) Mr. Liu is a cook who lost his packet which contains all of his property. The whole story unfold from then on. (Short pause) This funny and ridiculous story trigger the old memory in my mind. Some of them could be more funny and incredible.

Someone said a person had never lost cellphone just like a baby never had bed-wetting. I have lost several cellphones, or say I was stolen several times. :-( I lost my one of them in bus, one of them in subway, one in shopping. Even, another one I have no idea where I lost it. But the most incredible location I lost it was in my bed.


More exact circumstance was my cellphone was put beside my pillow when I go to sleep. But it was gone when I wake up in the morning. My dormitory-mates, XiaoYu, is still snores loudly and symmetrically. (Imitation his snore?)I try to call my phone using his one. But his phone was gone as well. I got out of the bedroom and was aware of the
door in the sitting-room was open. It was obviously, our cellphones were stolen when we was sleeping. (Pause) The story was not end. I went to office and report it to the police. And XiaoYu promised to wait for the policeman in the home. Half hour later, four big and strong policemen come to our dormitory and got XiaoYu to the office
to record his testimony. They looked like impatient and even annoyed.


XiaoYu and the four policemen got down the stair along. Two in front of him. And two behind him. It was morning exercise time, many our neighborhoods were exercising out the door. So, my pool dormitory-mate looks like a thief was walking among them. The police car whizzed past in the morning (Simulate the sound of police car here?). When the pool XiaoYu came back two hour later, the old gentleman living in our downstairs came in the presence of him, put
his hand on his shoulder and said to him, in a whisper.

“I heard that guy (He is getting at me) was arrested by the police. Is that right?”

My cellphones was stolen in the bed. That was unexpected, but the more unexpected thing was I was supposed to be the thief.(Long pause) However, usually it is obviously, I am the victim. At that year, I started my career in Beijing and came back to my hometown in the Spring Festival.

Engineers like T-shirt and Jean. Yes, Me too. But I didn’t
want my parents thought I was still a mess boy even work. So, I took the formal clothes and came back to my home town by train. The train environment was safe and comfortable. I woke up until the train pulled in the morning. How a wonderful journal! I stretched and got
up. Start to take my clothes, my neck tire, my treasures, my socks, my … (Pause) Wait!!! Where are my shoes? Where are my leather shoes? Where are my brush leather shoes? I can’t find it it. It was gone. It must be somebody took my shoes off. But most of the traveler have left the carriages. It is impossible to figure out who stole my
shoes? I had no choice and get out the station without shoes.

(Pause) You can image how funny I looks like. A young gentleman is wearing formal black western-style clothes, black treasures , delicate neck tie and taking a wonderful bag, but barefoot. People stared at me and snickered.

I felt very shy and embarrassed. At that time, I hated the thief. I even was not annoyed for his behavior, that was his work. But I was angry that he let me lost face in front of crowd. Even a slippers can help me out of the jam. I was imaging what I need do if I was a thief.

Finally, I got the conclusion that I would keep my
professional ethics even I was a thief. Got I should got and left others. It seems that the great minds think alike. Because I do encountered one not a long time later.

Two years later after we graduation, we hold a party to renew for the classmates. We had dinner in restaurant, we sang in KTV, we dance and so on. That was amazing experience. We talked a lot and drunk a lot.


We say good-bye to each other in the midnight. When I tried to take out my wallet and pay for the taxi blow my apartment, I realized it was lost somewhere. Not much cash in it. But I lost my ID card and all my bank cards. Suddenly, I sobered up from the alcohol. It was later. I didn’t think the thief can guess my bank account password.
But it was fussy to apply for new ones, especially without ID card.


It was distress and vexatious. I was prostrate that that days. Do you believe miracle? I don’t believe it before. But now, I believe it. (Pause) Two days later, I got a letter contained all my lost in my wallet, except for the cash. That is unbelievable. I was so exciting and looked like I got a million lottery. I was thinking
maybe I could say thanks to the thief if he was standing in front of me. I really admired his profession.

I lost my cellphones. But I found it was better not trouble others for this kind of tiny cases. Try to figure it out by yourself, or let it go. I lost my shoes. But I found keeping dignity is more critical than appearance. I lost my wallet and all the stuff in it. But I found keeping profession is more esteemed, even you are a thief. :-)

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